3.2 Paramedic Method

In this draft workshop, you will remove the lard from alphabetic prose. To "get the lard out", you will cut unnecessary verbage such as prepositions, forms of "is", and put verbs into simple active forms.

For example, the revised sentence below has a lard factor of 33%.

Original: This sentence is in need of an active verb. (9 words)
Revised: The sentence needs an active verb. (6 words)

Here is a second example with a lard factor of 66%.

Original: I think that all I can usefully say on this point is that in normal course of their professional activities social anthropologists are usually concerned with the third of these alternatives, while the other two levels are treated as raw data for analysis. (44 words)
Revised: Social anthropolgists usually concentrate on the third alternative, treating the other two as raw data. (15 words)

These examples come from Richard Lanham's Revising Prose 4th ed.

You will complete this draft workshop by revising one paragraph of alphabetic prose from a group member's 3.2 draft. To do this, you will need to copy the text into your own blog. Once you have completed the steps below for each sentence, discuss the paragraph with your group mate to see if his/her meaning has been preserved.

Steps for performing the *Paramedic Method on a sentence:
1. Highlight the prepositions in blue.
2. Highlight the "is" forms in red.
3. Ask, "Where is the action?" "Who's kicking who?"
4. Put this "kicking" action into a simple (not compound) active verb.
5. Start fast, no wind ups.
6. Remove unneccessary words.
7. Read the sentence, paragraph aloud.
8. Re-write and repeat.

*This method adapted from Erika Lindemann's A Rhetoric for Writing Teachers 4th ed.